Granola with God...

I drink my coffee and fight the gut reaction to...ahem...puke...


I am having a lay it all out there, here it is, conversation with my Lord...


It's hard for me...there are certain things in my life I do not trust Him with...


Specific areas that I have consistently proven unable to master or even correctly decision within my life...and yet...I KEEP TRYING...


My pattern is to hold it to the side...because if I hold it in my backpack He won't know that I'm holding that idol for myself right?


Then I start hiking up the mountain to the summit and the backpack zipper breaks...out spills my hidden idol and I think (how dumb of me) that He sees it for the first time...


All the while He's watched me hiding from Him like a mere child...He's got to be saying "Really? AGAIN?!!"


So today...I chose to take a different path and just SAY it to Him...Lay it on the line...and honestly...even as I type this I feel like I have acid reflux...my heart is pounding...total anxiety...


Because I don't like giving it up...the reality is...I'm afraid if I submit my backpack to Him then I won't get to keep my granola inside...


I WANT THE BLASTED GRANOLA!!!!


But then I'm reminded as I turn the next corner up the mountain...His backpack is so much better...


Where I have water...He has ARTESIAN water...Where I have granola...He has BAGUETTE...Where I have peanuts...He has ROASTED PECANS WITH GLAZE...


Stupid analogy I know...but the moral of my convoluted story is this:


I'm surrendering...and surrendering is hard for type A, idol holding, "I can do it" chicks like myself...


So like anything else...the first few times are very uncomfortable...but when I hand over the backpack, several things happen:


1. I am so much lighter! I don't have to carry all that junk and it makes my trek so much more enjoyable
2. His snacks are WAY better than mine! When I let him lead and pass out the "snacks"...they are so much tastier and enjoyable...WHO WOULDA THOUGHT?!!?
3. I get to the summit whole...healthy...not exhausted but refreshed by the journey...


Hrmmmmm....I likes it! 


Grace n Peace,


A ~