Quietness and Confidence...

"For thus says the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall you be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: but you would not." Isaiah 30:15 The call came in...I was astounded...heartbroken...simmering...appalled... Outcomes were incomprehensible... Broken, angry, and in need of justice I took a moment...stood in the bathroom at work and spoke to Him... Surrendered...again...this situation has been surrendered over and over for quite some time...yet here I stood again...cold tile...sterile environment of the hospital matching the sterile black and white feeling of injustice and the need for an ethical resolution... So...I surrendered...for I've learned that surrender is the only way...the only way to empty myself of longings that although ethical and justified impair my judgements and sensibilities to act as a Christ follower...longings to lash against the blackness of the evil imparted...longings to cave and feel victimized... I spoke words of worship in my soul throughout the day...replaced anger with praise...begged for purity within while shuffling patients through the system and answering call lights... Then it came...He came...in the form of a tweet...Isaiah the prophet...words from old ring true to my soul..."In quietness and trust is your strength..." Riveted...heart and head spun...I stopped....wrote the verse on an index card to remind...and marinated in the truth of this... I had no need to defend...I had no need to impart justice...I stood secure...In my Savior that imparts my justice, needs, and favor through His love and unmerited grace...I am HIS. Since that day...I've lived again surrendered in this situation...aware of the solid backing of truth...no words or justice need to be imparted by me...I am not victimized..I am free...I am whole...I live in quietness and trust...blind faith really... Because. He. IS.  That. Is. Enough. I need nothing more than my Savior. I possess no need to create justice for myself. He is the ultimate justice of the surrendered. Grace n Peace, A ~

And We Walked...

Today I walked with my girls...we trampled through leaf strewn roads and soft ground...we climbed trees and touched hearts...we touched the divine...It was perfect...

The poem below I penned quickly so as not to ever forget this perfect day...

"We Walked..."

We walked side by side...

One tall two small...

Leaves chasing our heels...wind blowing away cares...

We walked...

Stick in hand of the littlest...

Thoughts in head of the oldest...

Gratefulness in my heart for this...moment...

We walked...

Trees beckoning to be climbed...

We heeded...

Tall on it's branches we climbed and stood...

We paused...

Stories of the old tree beneath us...

We dreamed...

Connection of spirit to spirit...

We paused...

Drawn back to our legs...

Thoughts of our home...

Scampered down we did...

Then we walked...

Stopping to twirl in the road...

Mental pictures I took...

Filled with Joy unspeakable...

We walked...

One day I will be less than I am today...

They will hold my hand to steady me...

We will remember this day of dreams and youth...

And we will walk...

Grace n Peace,

A ~

The First Picture of Grace

I find the love of God to be so perplexing and amazing all at the same time...

I fight to be clean enough to gain it...

Then, I ultimately shun it through my humanity...

I draw close...I run away...

But the closer I grow to Him...I realize the depth...cliche as it may sound....the depth of this God love...

Reading in Genesis this morning, I read the story of the forbidden fruit. God clearly told Adam and Eve "Eat of the fruit and you will surely die."

Surely die.

Not maybe.

Not possibly.

Surely.

Then we see the story play out as Eve is so drawn by what she cannot have that she partakes of the fruit...inviting Adam to indulge with her. They partake...become aware of their nakedness and humanity...and thus the first story of humanity running from God begins.

Yet...God.

This "Surely you will die" God...paints the very first picture of grace.

I can't believe I never caught this before...check it out.

So God has warned Adam and Eve that should they eat the fruit they will die. Yet he comes to them...calls out to them in the garden...and talks to them...calls them out of their hiding place.

This all powerful Creator of humanity...able to create another obedient Adam and and Eve and demolish the first set...talks to them.

He relates to them.

He corrects them.

God allows them to have scars and further pain that will remind them to not eat of the forbidden again...

YET...they DO NOT DIE.

Grace. Unmerited love and favor.

Grace.

God has been painting His love and grace since the beginning of the world. Did Adam and Eve eventually die? Sure. But He extended grace to those wayward children and loved them through the pain  they created for Him.

Rather than exercising His word to kill these wayward children...God first relates to them...explains to them...corrects them...THEN continues to love them...

Blows my mind.

Excites my soul. 

Spurns me to grasp it further, spread it farther, engage it deeper. 

God. LOVES. Me. 

Enough to put up with sin since the garden so He could meet me...caress my soul...engage me...and walk with me...

I plan to get the word out today of this God love...not in the form of tracts and free Bibles...but in lunches with growing child disciples...in smiles at the grocery store...in practiced presence with Him...

I pray I can engage someone to feel this God love...

With Joy and light to the earth...

Grace n Peace,

A ~