So I stumble through the house...run into the ottoman...turn on the lamp...and begin to read...
I'm hungry. Hungry for God. Hungry for truth.
I read in John. Passages that I've heard all my life. So much so that I've become numb to their power. Numb to the truth inside THE words.
THE words written in red. HIS words.
I read John 14:6 "Jesus said to him 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'"
Revelation takes hold and I am astounded that I have not received this passage into my spirit before. The sheer power of the words shake my soul and astound me.
So...HE is the way. All those long days and nights I've spent searching for an answer to the soul questions. The heartaches, fears, and wanderings that living in this life bring. All along the answer was simple. All along in my wanderings of which way to go...HE was the way. Nothing was required of me but to surrender to HIM.
So...HE is the truth. All those lies I believed about myself for so long...
"You're not equal..."
"You're not pretty enough..."
"You're not GOOD enough..."
"You're an impostor..."
"You'll NEVER be happy."
"You'll NEVER be at peace."
"You'll NEVER be loved...because you are unlovable..."
Those lies I believed all my life to be Truth...were never THE truth. HE was my truth. HE paid the price so that I might live. Sounds simple, I know. Yet, I could not grasp it. Could not live it. Until the lies were exposed and HE became my truth.
When He said...
"You're not equal. You're royalty. MY royalty."
"You are beautiful in my sight. JUST AS YOU ARE."
"You'll never be good enough...you don't have to be. I AM goodness."
"You're not an impostor. You're my child."
"Peace I give you. The world can never take that away. NEVER."
"You are lovable. I loved you so much I died for you...and I would do it again. Just for YOU."
Then it all comes together for me in the wee hours of the morning...If he is my way and truth...then all that is left is LIFE.
All these years, trying to "get a life"....trying to sate the inner demons that said "Do this. Then!" or "Go here. Then!" or "Devote to that one. Then!"
Then...then you'll "get a life..."
HE is life. When I am found in Him...I'm living a life so UN-ordinary....so unfettered with the lame ideas the world offers to living extraordinarily. I'm living FREE. HE becomes my life. HE, the perfect one, becomes my truth. HE, the perfect one becomes the way I travel, the way I see myself, the way I live out every glorious minute of every glorious day.
How expansive my heart suddenly feels. How blessed to know. Finally. Life really is beautiful. Because of HIM. HE IS LIFE.
Now that He's gotten all THAT out of the way....I'm gonna grab a cup of Joe and head out to watch the sun rise up over the mountain. :-)
Grace n Peace,