Slipping away...

Water laps through the tub and I soak it in...literally and figuratively...
I am listening to The Gospel of John in The Message...captivated...
One phrase stands out in the passages above all others to me in this listening...
"He slipped away..."

Instantly, my spirit takes hold of this and it clicks...
"He slipped away..."
I relate to this...I feel it in my bones and soul...
I've been slipping away...

Slipping away can be quite good actually...
See here's the deal...Jesus...Heals the lame man...tells him take up your mat and walk...
Then before anyone can credit Him...He slips away...
Later the lame man finds him and Jesus implores Him not to squander the knowledge He has just been given...

Jesus travels on and decides that his followers need to eat...
He breaks bread and fish for five thousand...more than enough...
People are filled and thrilled...then as they begin to look for this miracle worker...
He has "slipped off"...

Garden of Gethsemane...Jesus goes further...alone...
He slips away from His beloved disciples...
Away from comfort to agony...
He slips away towards His Father...

I've been slipping away the last couple of weeks. I blogged about my experience and revelation about spiritual warfare. Since that experience, I've clung to the Savior....
Not out of desperation...(although I desperately need Him)
But of of pure, unfettered, unquenchable love and adoration...

I want to know Him...not for what He can provide me...I want to know HIM...
I want Him to know my name...when He searches the earth for willing...I want to be first...
I want to know His heartbeat...If He beats for anything...I must also...
I want to follow His leadings...No pride...pure, responsive obedience to His promptings...

So I've been slipping...
I've realized that like Jesus...I must steer clear of areas that might encourage pride...
False trust in things that were never meant to sustain or fill me...
I truly believed Jesus slipped away out of humility and a desire to stay connected to the Father...
Not the crowd...

I'm not interested in "the crowd"...
I'm not interested in applause or accolades...
Although I think I might have been...
I caught myself spending too much time on virtual...albeit I thought I was connecting with Godly friends and enjoying Godly reads...
I was not present. My mind was busy. Busy minds are strongholds. I couldn't focus on lasting moments with Christ and a posture of constant prayer. I had to quit the "false world".


So...I deleted twitter and Facebook off my IPhone. I decided to only check my accounts once a day and for a very brief period. I've not missed it for a second.

I'm making other serious commitments to my my love affair with Christ...but I don't want to share them as I feel it would cheapen them and enter me into a false sense of religious pride...
These commitments of mind, body and spirit...Have not been difficult...they have been joyful...liberating...
The more I commit to Him...the more I fall for Him...the more time I am present with Him...the more of His heart I see...

I think that's why "He slipped away..." captured me today...
It's been such an odd turn in the journey for me to "slip"...
I'm social...I love people...and I enjoy connecting...but the beauty of this next leg of the journey is that while I've stepped back and out of certain realms...
I realize that I'm fully present when I am with people...I'm unencumbered when I listen to their stories...
I can feel their hearts...and I can feel His...because after all...We are ALL His heart...

Grateful this Valentine's Day for a lover that calls me in the night...days...and whispers in my ear "You are mine." 

Glorious God...I am slipping away to you...

Grace n Peace,

A ~