Welcome to My Royally Wrecked Space to Chill...

I hope you find comradery...I hope you find peace....I hope you find joy...I hope you find acceptance...I hope you feel loved...I hope you know that your are precious...chosen...and always welcome here...come sit a spell...

Monday, January 2, 2012

Forget about it...

Disclaimer: This is not original. It is completely stolen from Dino Rizzi but was so Epic I had to share.

Philippians 3:12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

I talked with a lot of humanity in the last year. Divorce. Death. Infidelity. Physical pain. Insecurity. Powerlessness. Addiction. The woes and struggles were astounding.

I faced struggles of my own. Shame of my own. Gospeled my heart in areas of weakness that I did not know existed.

As I listened to your stories this year and tried my best to absorb myself into your pain and understand...I was always reminded of this one fact: We are all broken. We are all finding our way. We are all screwed up. 

I found comfort in the fact that you all needed to share and then needed to listen. I grew in my desire to do one thing with this life: Live Gospeled and Compelled to all things related to the cross. 

I sat yesterday in service with my dearest friends (we consider each other family), and Pastor Dino began to describe the "one thing" that we can and need to do in 2012. ONE! How comforting for this over scheduled girl...Forget.


Forget what is behind.

I must confess that this particular area has been a working of my faith in 2011. I was able to move forward in new directions and life changes without regret, bitterness or lasting sadness. BUT, I was confronted with a new challenge: Shame.

Shame would challenge my security and heart at the most inopportune times. Black and chocking it would manipulate my reactions and my thoughts towards myself. Shame unjustly thrown into the arena of my life yes...but shame nonetheless.

Never having been concerned with stigma this was a new emotion for me...I've never felt represented at the party before arriving...yet now I was. Stigma defined me...or so I thought. Though innocent, I was prisoned behind bars of societal stigma...it was stifling.

Three months ago I began a trek towards healing in this area of my heart and mind that had gone untouched...It was shattering. In a good way. I sat before my pastor and wept...admitted that I walked inwardly into new situations head down...apologizing for my story...in that moment as the tears flowed...I felt free. I felt relief. Once confronted, the shame seemed less real...less needed...

I continued to surrender the shame as I saw it appear...I continued to meet new people and situations with His grace for me and the understanding that I am one thing: His.

Fast forward to yesterday...Pastor Dino says "all we have to do is the one thing"...just one thing...forget. It seems like I'm sitting in a room alone with a spotlight on my heart...being drenched in truth...I accept it. I allow it to drench my spirit like an oil...washing away the stench of my self assumed shame...and walking away clean...

Forget. Let go. 

I did. I will. He requires it for my mission.

Can you? We've loved and shared in struggles and pain this year. Can we also share in redemption and the act of forgetting? 

I pray we move together towards the grace of the cross as pure humanity...stories intact...known as His and not our past...join me...

Grace n Peace,

A ~

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