I have trust issues.
But in only one particular area of my life.
I can trust God with almost everything...except this one area.
He illuminated this lack of trust and the sin in it a few weeks ago and I've been praying and visualizing "opening the lid" to this box I've shut him out of...
And...In southern slang, It ain't easy yawl!
Imagine my surprise when I finally crack the lid to this box of un-trust...become open...and He opens a door!
Only for it to slam in my face...
I'm not going to lie...I was a bit stunned. And angry.
I told God He needed to get his act together. He pretty much told me He's had it together since the dawn of time and I need to sit down and let Him work. Ugh.
During my word time today, I continue reading about my guy David. Sweet, God loving David. Adulterer, murderer, look the other way so I can have what I want David.
I was reading the passage after He had slept with Bathsheba (with a name like that who WOULDN'T want her?!!) and murdered her husband, and she is pregnant. God tells David because of his sin, his son with Bathsheba will die.
The baby becomes ill...what does David do?
"David pleaded with God for the boy. He fasted, went home, and spent the night lying on the ground. 17 The elders of his house stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he was unwilling and would not eat anything with them." (II Samuel 12:16-17)
David begs...pleads...refuses to get up...petitioning God for his miracle...
The baby dies.
Here's where it gets weird. You'd expect David to wail...gnash his teeth...get depressed. Nope.
"When David saw that his servants were whispering to each other, he guessed that the baby was dead. So he asked his servants, “Is the baby dead?”
He is dead,” they replied.
"20 Then David got up from the ground. He washed, anointed himself, changed his clothes, went to the Lord’s house, and worshiped. Then he went home and requested something to eat. So they served him food, and he ate." (II Samuel 12: 20-21)
This guy WORSHIPS!! THEN EATS!!
How backwards would I have done things? I've been sitting on my couch gazing out the window pondering this scenario...asking God the meaning...and it all boils down to one thing:
TRUST. DAVID TRUSTED GOD.
David knew he had brought all this destruction on himself, yet he believed God heard his cries and his petitions to save his son. God chose not to. For whatever reason. Maybe to teach David a lesson about His judgement. Or maybe His sovereignty. Whatever the case...
David trusted God.
The whole scenario amazes me. This man loses his son, then goes to the temple and worships God. That kind of action requires MAD trust.
David didn't ask questions or go to bed...He worshiped the God he loved and got on with life. Believing (I think) there was more around the bend and He needed to be upright and praising God to experience it...
What a lesson.
When it hurts.
When the door you thought He opened slams ON your face.
When you screw up.
When you want to crawl into bed and never get out.
When the window to your world is clear.
When the window is foggy.
Trust HIM. Praise HIM. Believe HIM for the best...
Oh yeah...because after David lost his son...the next son conceived during Bathsheba's grief...was Solomon...and well...we all know how blessed he turned out ;-).
Grace n Peace,