Screwing up = Teachable Raft Rides :-)

I just finished Hebrews. The last chapter was beautiful. Full of truths that I loved and thought about expounding on...but I felt...nothing.

I sat here. I felt nothing. My mind...feels tired. I feel like today I might have not been very present for many parts.

I'm not sure exactly why...except that when my life is busy...I have to make a conscious choice to pursue presence.

I've been slammed. Then there's the incessant chatter of my 6 year old. Music to my ears...laughter to my soul...but right about eight o'clock now...I'm craving solitude.

I'm learning to recognize when I'm a little out of touch with myself and Him...

The day flies by and I can't remember poignant moments where I stopped and marveled at Him...

I spend the day doing "busy" work and no "spirit" work...

I sit down too late too tired to really fully digest His word and I'm struck again by my humanness...

These are the moments I find I'm teachable...these are the moments He ushers me back to meaning...to presence...

He sits with me on the leather couch and reminds me that I'm not this world's...I'm His...

All the while reminding me He loves me...because I'm fallible...I'm faulty...I'm imperfect...

I have to live in this world...I need communion with others...I need to listen to my little girls and hear their thoughts even with pounding head...

I need to give myself to chores and laundry with cheer and thankfulness...these too can be acts of worship...

I truly believe anything we do with gratefulness to the Father can be formed into worship...

It's a beautiful thing. 


This ebb and flow.


This grace river I float in with God.

He leads me and when I begin to go adrift...he grabs my raft and pulls me back to the deeper rapids where I can continue to move forward...where this a current of Him...

This is the beauty of failing some days...failure results in teachable spirits...

When he pulls me back I'm reminded I'm a nobody...a flub...and what's incredibly startling is that this is comforting...I'm actually comforted that I'm a flub...a screw up...because that means I'm still acutely aware I can never survive the ride without Him...

For this reminder...I am grateful this day...


For failures past and present...I accept with grace today...


For the rapids He pulls me back into...I rejoice...


Because this all means my spirit and soul are alive in Him...

Glorious.

Grace n Peace,

A ~