Source Surrender...

I hear my brother's voice float up the stairs....He is singing lullabies to his baby girl. She laughs and he chimes in...

It is the sound of freedom.

I sat with him yesterday in a meeting of strangers...yet family. These flawed humans shared their deepest thoughts on God, on failures, on addiction. They were unbridled. They were accepting. They were loving.

They were...surrendered.

I sat in this old house in rural Arkansas with these fellow fledgling humans and thanked God for the moment. The moment of freedom for each of us.

We had all fought to be there. Each in a different capacity. Each with a different cross to die on...yet we fought nonetheless...

Several spoke of the fact that they never wanted to give up their sobriety and go to hell...because they had already lived there...

I had never thought of it that way...I was humbled...challenged...

I listened to each person talk of their prayer practice...the daily surrender involved in fighting...

These souls...they know how to pray...they don't worry about which is the best way...what is the best verbiage...they just...do it...

Because...they are desperate...they know they cannot do "life" on their own...forever cognisant of their own mortality...

I can only hope that I live in this realm...in the realm of surrender and trust...trust that God is bigger...that He is stronger than my failings and fears...He is stronger than my future...

I'm ever so proud of my brother...his story is amazing and I hope one day he'll share it and help others crawl out of hell....He's a hero from the trenches and I love him...

Grace N Peace,

A `