I was nine the first time I remember feeling the distinct feeling that I was different...
It was a strange knowing...I knew I didn't fit the mold. It was unnerving but peaceful. I knew that I would never be like anyone else and there would be a price to pay for that...and there has been.
I watched the new movie "Brave" today with a rugged little redheaded heroine. I felt that feeling again...that distinct feeling again...It was as strong of a current as I've ever felt...Individuality that runs strong and straight...like an electrical pole through me that illuminates and tethers me to myself and my creator...
In Brave, the heroine questions "Am I willing to pay the price for my freedom?" I was wonderstruck. I knew in that dark theater that my resounding answer to the question has, and always will be, "YES!!"
Which led me to my next thought: Why have I squelched this knowing within myself? Why have I been ashamed to admit this feeling God placed deep within? Why do we equate ego with security within our birth right to individuality?
I mean, didn't God ignite that voice and current inside of us? Didn't He give me that knowing at 9 to carry me through the mistakes I would make at 28, 31, and 34? Wasn't that liquid courage He poured into my core a God given wonderment? I have to think so...
Then that leads me to this: Why should I be ashamed of that? Why should I feel like I'm bragging when I stand steeped in knowing who God created me to be? It's a bit asinine. Who am I to not walk in the beauty of who He created me to be? Who am I to question His expertise?
That whole lovely scripture we quote about Him knowing us in utero...we don't believe it. We dumb ourselves down. We play it off as humility; when it's really insecurity. We ALL have a knowing. Granted they might be different. While mine is electrical, yours might be very very quiet. While mine sings and screams, yours might be the most beautiful Celine song I've never heard. That's the cool part about God. He creates individuals.
And we...WE...
We must be brave enough to pay the price to be individuals. For if we don't, we've robbed the world of a gift.
Please don't rob me of that Celine song, my screaming ADD voice really needs some soothing after I've screamed out my love and peace all day. :-)
Grace n Peace,
A ~
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