Pockets of Peace...

"You will find as you continue to heal that the pockets of peace will lengthen..." she said to me as I sat smiling on the proverbial therapist couch.

I had been in therapy after a messy divorce and marriage for almost a year. When she first spoke of "pockets of peace" I wondered how I would ever get to a point of existing fully in one. Was such a thing possible?

I had lived in chaos for so long. I was on the mend but worried that I would ever mend fully.

Fast forward. 4 years later.

I am sitting in my car amongst the trees studying at twilight. Spelling out Rhabdomyosarcoma. Fully immersed in the moment. I look up and pause...

Breathing in the beauty of the sunset lit trees...the perfect stillness...the pocket of peace...

I am comfortable in it.

I am...at peace...

I realize in this moment the fullness of what my therapist was birthing in me during those two hour sessions every other week...stillness...acceptance...joy...

You cannot "make" such things happen within you...I find only "He" can...

For me, it's happened with the partnership of Him and my laying down my humanity...

Sometimes I lay it down through face in the dirt failure...

Some days I lay it down willingly in acts of determined surrender...

Nonetheless...I've learned to lay it down one way or the other...

It's the only way I maintain the pocket of peace my life has become...

I can't say life has become "easier" or "more fun"...

I can say He's teaching me about importance...priorities...goal setting and reaching...

Depths of joy found in a child's long eye lashes as you lay and laugh with her...

Peace found amongst the trees while studying for the future...

Peace among the pieces is what He creates...

She was right...the longer you learn to live in the pockets of peace...the wider and deeper and stronger they become...

This is a good thing...

Grace n Peace,

A ~