Survive first. Thrive last.

I'm a recovering worrier...

I spent my twenties fretting. Worried sick. Pale from inner distress.(OK...I'm really just pale naturally but that's beside the point.)

Then I went through a terrible divorce.

Twice.

Voila! I quit worrying...

I know it sounds completely absurd. Funny even. Yet...it truly happened.

When I was going through my second divorce, I physically felt the burden of worry separate itself from me.

I pondered this phenom happening for quite some time...wondering why going trudging through a completely terrible ordeal would free me from such a burden...from such a pathology...

Obviously, God set me free. In the strangest of ways...

So deeply ashamed...my worst fears had happened to me. To my children. I was mortified...deflated... Then His wonderment struck me...

Hurdled over the heart by this singular realization: All I ever feared would killed me...should it happen...did...

And...

I was ALIVE.

I was ALIVE. I was FREE. Saved...

I had not been destroyed.

My children showed resilience.

We were swaddled in peace and spiritual prosperity.

Earthly despondence and failures could not shake the rock solid love we felt in our hearts. Nothing could or can.

Since that period in my life I've undergone massive changes on every level of my living...changes I thought I could never thrive underneath.

Yet I find myself completely unshaken. Completely in Shalom.

He keeps my heart in perfect peace...

I find myself stressed...exhausted...stretched...but shaken? Never.

I walk in wonderment in the small...gratefulness for the minimal...and absolute grace from my God, my family, my children, and myself.

If you're knee deep in worry today, take a moment. Ask yourself this: If this *insert situation, relationship, failing* happens, will I die? Will I be without ANY hope?

I know you might be thinking: YES! It will kill me!

It won't. I know people that have gone through horrific incidences that, though limping...they are still walking through life with wonderment.

What we think today will kill us...usually tomorrow makes perfect sense.

Six years later after a divorce, I am free of angst towards the situation. Six years ago, I felt I'd never recover. I had massive worries that started something like "If THAT happens (he moves on, etc.) I don't know what I'll do."

All those massive worries...came true...

Guess what? I survived. THEN I thrived.

You survive first. Thrive last.

You don't get the lessons without the revelation of teaching.

And there is this mindset that if you are thriving...you have enough money, you have no conflicts, you are getting plenty of rest, there are no worries present...NOPE.

It is completely possible to thrive in life amazement while exhausted, broke, nursing an emotional wound, and not knowing what the future holds...

The key to thriving in amazement of life: CHOOSE to be amazed and astounded and the deepest blessings of aliveness from God NO MATTER WHAT. Notice what is good around you...no matter how small...realize that everything...EVERYTHING is a pure, undeserved, glorious gift.

Then...rest.

Ask God to show you that you will survive.

Believe you will...sit back...

Be in wonderment of the obvious...

Sunshine...

Your children's laughter...

Those who love and help you unconditionally...

Then...get ready to THRIVE!

Grace n Peace,

A ~