I apologized to God...

I apologized to God. I did not "repent".

I apologized.

I realized after I said "God I want to apologize to you..."

That I indeed apologized to God...

It's been the week from hell. I've slipped more than I've trekked. I've cursed more than I've blessed. I've retreated more than I've advanced.

An apology to my lover was in order...

I've ignored him. Not on purpose. In obligations.

So...I apologized. It was a pivotal moment in my relationship with my Lover God.

As soon as the whisper escaped my lips into the darkness, I smiled. Because within my failings and flounderings this week, I realize in this moment how reliant I am on Him and how cool our "relationship" has become...

I no longer think of Him as unreachable...untouchable...I talk to him. I breathe words in my bed late at night. I confide in him with my insecurities...my prides...my accomplishments...my terrible failings...

This is good. This is pure. This is REAL.

I NEED real.

I crave real.

So...onward i crawl through the busiest year of my life...apologizing, loving, knowing and falling with my God...realizing that THIS...THIS is the point of it all...REAL life with a Savior that I do not hide from...that I do not run from like the past when I show the butt of my humanity...no...I whisper to him in the shower...in the dark bed at night...in the bathroom stall at school...

and I apologize...and He forgives me...

Grace n Peace,

A ~